The drawing dutchy
Just a Dutchy drawing portraits with soft pastel or graphite pencils.
This drawing hurts and makes me smile at the same time.
It’s a weird title, I know. I just didn’t know what else to call this post, because it is centered around the loss of a very special man.
We lost our dad on the 21st of November.
We didn’t just lose him on the 21st, we lost him bit by bit for years, as he had Parkinson’s and dementia.
Those smaller losses, bit by bit were most noticeable by my champion sister, who cared for him as much as she could. I am so grateful for that because I live quite far away. My brother and sister also found the perfect nursing home for him, where they loved him as if he were family, which has been beautiful to see.
It’s not like we didn’t know the day would come when we would have to say goodbye to him. It’s been years of smaller goodbyes along the way. But still, the big one, the forever one, this final goodbye, is different. It hurts, it leaves you empty, and it’s the loss of the last parent we had left. But this loss is also one surrounded by beautiful memories and so much gratitude.
My dad was a great man, and an even better parent.
He was loving, nurturing, kind, and ahead of the times as he raised us. Especially the way he raised me and my sister and taught us how to fix things ourselves so, in his words: “you’ll never need a man to do those things for you!”
I’m so grateful for everything our dad has taught us. I draw, because of the talent he passed on to me and the years of tips and tricks he gave me. I am the woman I am today because of his, and our mothers’ strength and guidance.
He is missed dearly, they are missed.
What softens the blow a little bit for me…
is the idea that he and our mother are together again, finally. They are also reunited with their daughter and my son. I imagine them cheering us on from there, wherever “there” may be. And they live on in us and in their grandchildren. Because love is immortal, and we have and always will carry that love with us wherever we go.
I drew this little drawing next to my dad’s bed on the morning of the day he passed. I drew it in pencil but changed it to ink with a dip pen later. Because that was my dad’s thing, and it seemed more fitting