The drawing dutchy

Happy New Year!

Okay, we are already over a week into the new year, the start of this year has been a bit stormy, literally. Denmark, where I live got hit by a snowstorm and that has given us all some challenges. But it’s also given me a bit of time to think and play.

There is something about this crisp white world in which everything looks brighter.

After a long time with loads of rain and darkness, it’s a welcome change! It also beamed me back to childhood memories, where I would wake up, and see snow outside. I would be full of excitement! I couldn’t wait to get out the door and play, make footsteps in untouched snow blankets, and make snow angels! That child-like enthusiasm, I tried to play with that a little bit the past days, I needed that. I jumped into piles of snow, let myself fall to make a snow angel, and put footprints where there weren’t any. After the past few months, I needed that!

I’m not one to make New Year’s resolutions.

I haven’t for a long time. But this week, this snow, gave me one anyway. Inspired me if you will. In 2024 both as a person and in my drawing business, I have to remember this childlike enthusiasm. The unstoppable urge to run out into the snow before I had even zipped up my jacket and put gloves on. That is what I need this year. I need to put pencil strokes on new pieces of paper, the same way I make footprints in virgin snow.

This whole world outside my window was a blank canvas this week.

I want to be with art the same way I used to look out that window as a child, with that flutter in my heart. Seeing this white world and an unstoppable urge to make my mark on it, play in it. That is how I want to be with my art this year. But I have been dragging my feet when it comes to drawing, and there is a reason for that. I came back from Holland after the loss of my father less than two weeks before Christmas. Then came the whole rush of holiday stress and the start of a new year. My mind hasn’t been able to sit still and process. And if I am honest, I haven’t given it time to do that either. Because I am the kind of person who bottles up emotion, and the hectic weeks gave me the perfect excuse to do so.

Now I need to start a new drawing, and I have been pushing that off a little.

Because it also means I have to sign the last drawing of 2023. I will be the first one I have to sign like always with my father’s pencils, after his passing. As much as I love drawing and want to make this drawing business a success, this time I need to push myself to get going. I’m procrastinating because, to be honest, I am a little scared. Scared that when I pick up those pencils and draw my mind will have time to process. That I won’t be able to keep these emotions bottled up anymore. Especially while drawing! Because, for me, everything about drawing is connected to my dad.

Things are happening so fast!

The past months were full of heartbreak as well as love. Loss as well as hope. Contradictions that are also complimentary in a strange way. Last week I played in the snow like the little girl I used to be. Today and tomorrow I am planning my next work as an artist, making my next purchases as a professional. Like the adult I am. The day after that, I’ll sit here with my paper and my pencils and start my next work.

I want to hopscotch from one piece of art to the other while giggling and even belly-laughing. That is what I want and need, from 2024. To do that, I need to be that little girl again. I am asking my dad to hold my hand and help me, just for a little while because I’m scared. Just like when he taught me to ride my bicycle, hold the back of my bicycle, and give me that little push before I take off.

2024 here we come!